I've found Keira's birthday to be a tricky thing, emotionally. It's a milestone that inevitably brings to light all the ways she is not a typical 2-year-old. I imagine Liam, at age 2, standing straight and tall, excited for his first day of preschool.
I considered writing a birthday blog post on September 9th, Keira's actual birthday. I started by trying to think of all that she's accomplished in the past year. I gave up after feeling saddened by how far into the the recesses of my memory I had to reach in order to come up with anything. Surgery? That's not really a milestone. New equipment? Nah. How about this?
The curls! Those happened this year. Eventually, it occurred to me that three recent videos that we've taken of her capture growth; her love for the water and swimming (https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=703270566410178&id=100001817230837), her ability to purposefully knock over a block tower (https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10204324255612284&id=1406105980), and rolling down the couch cushions into Daddy (https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10204626244001805&id=1406105980). And let's not forget her clear expression of yes/more and no/done.
I considered not having a birthday party for Keira at all. Frankly, she wouldn't know the difference and an actual party can be pretty overwhelming for her. However, even though she's so unlike Liam and Ronin at age 2, it's a milestone worth celebrating nonetheless. I think every year that we make it through with Keira is worth celebrating, not just for her, but for her brothers, grandparents, and the multitudes of friends and community members that carry us along.
Seeing as I am only a couple of weeks post surgery (more on that later), Grandma Janie graciously and generously agreed to host a family party for Keira at her house. She chose a Hawaiian them and the boys enjoyed helping her pick out all of the decorations.
The party was last night, and it really was so fun. Janie's house was so festive and the food was delicious. Keira seemed quite happy all through dinner in spite of the crowd. I dare say she knew all of the voices in the room and felt pretty comfortable.
 |
| Notice Ronin's arm in a sling? Yah, that happened this week, too. |
There was some hope that perhaps, with her recent efforts at playing with toys in her stander, that Keira might do the one-year-old-smashing-her-birthday-cake thing at her second birthday party. Unfortunately, by the time dessert came around, she wasn't too happy to be put in her stander. And by the time we opened presents, she definitely wasn't even going to smile about the crinkling of tissue paper, let alone have much interest in the toys. Perhaps this was why I hesitated to have a party in the first place. There are certain expectations at a typical birthday party, right? Namely, cake and presents. I guess I wasn't eager to witness her not performing the typical birthday girl duties.
Nevertheless, it was a fun evening. Keira enjoyed herself, I think, with all of the company and attention. The boys were proud of their contributions and I am so grateful to Janie for putting it all together for me.
Tomorrow will be three weeks since my surgery. I'm really doing well. It's remarkable how little pain I've had. I feel pretty good, particularly when I'm sitting, but when I sleep, I really really sleep. I'm getting stronger every day, but when I stand and walk I am often dizzy and/or winded and/or can really feel my heart pounding. They say that it's normal for up to a month or two, as the blood flow in my body has been completely re-routed.
At times, this almost feels like vacation. I'm very comfortable lying in bed and reading or binge-watching TV, of which I have done plenty. Sometimes I feel like a princess, hanging out in the living room while a friend is mowing my lawn, another doing my dishes, and Jeff watching Keira. For some reason, it tickles me to think of all the people that have recently learned to tube-feed Keira because of me. I don't know why that's funny...partially I'm giddy that there are so many people I could have babysit that would know how to care for her and partially I know that this is a task most people never think of doing in their life and their willingness to learn is a testament to how much they care for Keira and her family.
I do miss cuddling with Keira. Sometimes she lays in my lap, or better yet, on my chest, but she's not happy sitting still for long. She made my day the other day, by calling to me in her own way. She was sitting in her bouncy seat across the living room from me while a friend was watching her. I noticed that Keira kept looking at me over her shoulder and raising her arm up and down. Finally, she did the slightest little "uh, uh" and it occurred to me that she wanted me. And sure enough, when I crawled over to be with her she gave me a big contented smile. Bless her.
I've been worried lately about Keira's snoring. In spite of the adenoidectomy, she does it day and night and there are brief periods in which she seems confused about how to breath and swallow. I don't know if this is actually worse than it has been in the past or if I just have too much time on my hands to think about it. The reality is, if I let myself think about it, that Keira could live a long life or she could be taken down by her next bout with a respiratory infection or pneumonia. My understanding is that death eventually comes to kids like Keira through complications of those infections. On the positive side, as Jeff points out, she is bigger (you should see those chubby legs) and stronger than she's ever been. All the better to fight off those bugs with.
